Thursday, May 24, 2012

Wildly off topic but here goes...

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120523200749.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily+%28ScienceDaily%3A+Latest+Science+News%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher

I am a father of eight and have been present at all the births of all my children. Childbirth is a perfectly natural process that most women could comfortably handle on their own or with a few wise grandmas around to push things in the right direction.

Laying a woman on her back is the worst thing that can be imposed upon her in labour. It restricts the movement so vital to ease the baby on its way. Women naturally stand, wiggle their hips, crouch, crawl on all fours and move into more comfortable positions during labour they NEVER EVER lay down unless forced to do so.

Pain relief methods such a Pethidine slow what might otherwise be a quick process and of all the births I've seen that had no intervention whatsoever were the ones that passed the quickest and with least trauma to mother and child.

Ok. Birth is a messy business. Amniotic fluid, blood, and shit all gets mixed up. When a baby crowns, the child is usually face up, nose toward the mother's belly but as it progresses through the cervix and down the vagina, the child turns so that its face is towards the mother's arse. With all that pushing going on, the mother usually craps at the same time and the baby's face passes within an inch of the rectum. This is enormously important because it is at this time that the child gets a good smear of mum's excrement across his lips, injecting him with her gut flora and kick-starting his own life-long friendly bacteria culture.

Of course, in the clean-room environment of the Cesarean operation where mum's that are too posh to push have the child torn from their uterus with scalpel and rubber glove, no one imagined that a great medical procedure would be to take a rectal swab from the mother and pop it in baby's mouth before they get wheeled off to their nice clean little lives.

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